Good- bye, Juan

Status: Sad
Song: Los Piratas- Muertos

The new of the suicide of Juan Campos Paz, music teacher in some schools (Included Escuelas La noticia del suicidio de Juan Campos Paz, profesor de música en diversas escuelas, (Entre ellas, Escuelas Nieto, where I studied the last four years of the obligatory school) was threw cold water on. Probably it was to many other people. I knew it on Wednesday, when I was going to the swimming pool. A big pain dominated me and I couldn't prevent myself crying. I had seen him last time some months ago. I couldn't imagine nothing like that, the only thing I thought is that he probable needed to talk.

I cried a lot at the funeral. It ashames me, in addition, there were many of my ex teachers in that school. I remembered his lessons, his words, his tenderness because of his being calm and good person. But I also remembered the times I think seriously to commit suicide. Fortunately, somebody stopped me.

I'm trying to assimilate it... But I can't...

The subconscious...

Yesterday I dreamt that I was punished in a class, with the face to the wall, giving my back to everybody, while the teacher explained something.

There is no much to comment...

Spiral of indecission

I look myself into the mirror. Surprised. Thoughtful. And I start again in the Languages School, I start again to study Chinese and English, but it's the first time in five years that I don't have to study Italian. It is strange to me after five years. I could go to the complementary classes at most, but, would they be useful? I mean, I am so trained in internet. The wheel which rounds and rounds. As a wiccan song says:

Air moves us,
Fire transforms us,
Water shapes us,
Earth Heals Us.
And The Balance Of The Wheel Goes Round And Round.

And the wheel rounds. A new period in my life is opening a way. Changes come around while I eat chocolate as I wouldn't be the main character, but a member of the audience. It's not true really. There aren't members of an audience, we all are characters of this strange novel that is all life. I remember, when I was that young girl of 18 years old, at the 2º year of the languages school,the teacher who pulled my leg because she was embarassed to talk in Italian language. And now? What about now? Somebody has called me bauscia and mangianebbia. Maybe because I live Milan, when I'm far too. It let me a mark forever, as a smiles and tears story, as a devil who wants to smile, as an underground speed which run through my dreams into a doubts' forest. Yesterday something stupid happens to me. I slept for five minutes and I had an strange dream:

Piola... fermata Piola.

I rase up the underground fast. I made some balances to try not to fall and sat up. And again:

Loreto... fermata Loreto.

I went down, confused until I found my way. Have I found it? Not really. I'm going to do 22 years old (17 october) and I don't know yet what is my way. I hope to find it first to arrive to Abbiategrasso. It could be too late.

And I will see the surprised faces of my teachers, now ex Italian teachers, while I go around and around in a spiral of indecission who orders much than me, more than my parents would like to order, more than how I could lose myself throught the notes of a song with happy ending.

Qualifications!

I'm happy.

I have passed all the languages. It means two things: I will be a calm summer, and I could organize myself to returno... The fact is I don't know yet what I'm going to do in my life (Specially because there are many informations which I don't know where to find them)

Pizzica!

Thursday was the "big day". Yes, I have had to play with my tambourine a song of the south of Italy called "U Santu Paulu". Well, I start from the beginning. It has started when Fabio- my Italian teacher- proposed me to play the tambourine in the cultural festival. I have accepted without thinking too much. I have to say that the rehearses, were strange situations for me: The first day were only Fabio and Marco (another teacher)who have played too. They have played the guitar and the accordion. First we were in the Italian departament (with teachers who entered and went out a lot of times) but finally, we went the the acting room. I have to admit that they should lend me a hand (or two) to find the rithym of the song, and now, I think it seems to the Galician jota punteada :D

On Monday, we had to rehearse again, but rouunded by some Italian partners who wanted to improve dancing. This time were too the two dancers who came from Puglia (South of Italy) to teach dancing. It was an open rehearse to the Italian courses, so, we were rounded of teachers...(Uff...!) It was really as been in family to me, because I know most of the people, ha, ha, ha. Some people congratulated me because of how I was played or asked me how much time I have played the tambourine, that kind of things... Simona and Alessandro (the dancers)thanked me at least, three or four times because of my participation (That's not important, is something I have done with pleasure) Then I went out.

Next day, I had an e-mail from Fabio.He asked me where I had gone, because they all come for some drinks and I wasn't. Ha, ha, ha. It happens. It was anyway, a strange situation for me :D Well, I didn't really know, and I was so tired... It seems that Fabio have run behind of me, but I have run more than him :D That day, I went to drink something with them then of the rehearse, and I felt a little shy: Alessandro and Simona knew more about me than I thought, ha, ha,ha. (Don't trust never in an Italian teacher.. that's a expert advice!)

Finally, we had the act on Thursday. I was so nervous, but I enjoyed it. I think I have superated a kind of block There were a lot of people who congratulated me, and when I have risen, Marco told me to go to the Italian departament for a moment. He said me: "The coordinator had to do this... but he have gone...." He gave me a present. Yes, there was a present for me and another one for the other girl (That have gone too) of the Italian departament. It was a logical but good thing: a reading book :D

Finally, we went for some drikns, it came too another teacher and some of my pupils. Fabio told me that he will fail me in order to make me participate next year (Oh... That's horrible.. If I'm failed, I have to do another two years!) I enjoyed a lot myself, but then I felt a little sad... It had arived the end!!!

When I have arrived to my home and I told everything to my mother, she said me that:Cuando llegué a casa y le conté todo a mi madre, me dijo dos cosas:

- I should asked to my teachers to write me something into the book (I haven't think about that, really)
- that I should asked the e-mail to the dancers (I have thought about it, but I didn't do it, ha, ha, ha)

That's all. I hope to have photos or something in the future :D

Chinese in the cultural week

Yesterday was friday, so I had have to work, I haven't lessons, but I had the Chinese performance.

There were so many people that didn't come, in fact, we were only five or six people of my class, he, he, he. They put me in the front part, because I'm in tune (I'm not the only one in the class, anyway) I was a little nervous, my Italian teacher was there, but I knew that. That isn't the thing that makes me feel nervous at most. I think I started feel nervous when I saw that the... I don't know who you call it.. the person who is the coordinator of a school... (and he is my ex teacher of Italian too...!) Uff... And I haven't do the Italian performance yet, I have to practise, he, he, he.

Well, It wasn't bad, the only problem is that my legs shacked a little. When I have to do something like that and I'm nervous, I have the sensation that I lose my balance with the heels. I had grasped my hands in the back to evite more shake.:D I would like to improve to control my nerves when somebody looks me, but I think you only can improve it when... You do it a lot of times!

And now, pizzica

I have to do something I couldn't never imagine. Some weeks ago, My italian teacher told me to play a pizzica. I have acepted, but I'm a little toughtful,because I knew that the South Italian music in general is so fast.

So, yesterday I have gone to work and then, I let my bag at house, I took my backpack and my tambourine. I waited, and then, we have gone, first of all, to the Italian departament, and then, to the acting room. (With my Italian teacher and another Italian teacher... without comments!... Well, fortunately they had a good behaviour :D)

I need to practise a little to produce a sound similar to pizzica's sound. First of all, because they are two instruments a little bit different (Who knows about celtic music, maybe knows how galician tambourine is) So, I have to addapt the rythm. Puglia's tambourine is playing in a different way, they move the hand that they have free. In Galicia (In general, there are exceptions) people move the hand which has the tambourine. In Galicia are playing too big tambourines, but I don't have it and I think I couldn't play it at all :D





Left: Galician tambourine. Right: Puglia's tambourine :D



Anyway, now I have the cd and I have all the weekend (I didn't do theatre on Saturday because most of people are going to Madrid today)

There is something curious... I had found things in common between this type of music and the tradicional galician music: The dance, the dresses (In the cd there is a video too...!) the singing method is similar, and the lyrics are structured in a similar way too.

Anyway, I have looked a little about the pre-roman story of Puglia and I have found this:

"Between the VII and the IX, the region was attacked for the Longobardth (celtic popolation) francs and saracens, that ocupated the principal cities of the region, they let to Bisenzio only the Salento(with Otranto y Gallipoli).

Longobarth popolation occuped Gargano, Canosa, and Brindisi (633) Taranto, Bari, etc, while sacarens started to be sostituided by longobarths, till all the region were unificated in a only authority.

Only Bari, city that was seat of an emirate, with greece, longobarth, franc, and saracen popolations, and sometimes with the help of venetians (1002) he could have a little authonomy."

MAybe is that, who knows Galician music knows that is celtic, and that it is similar to Irish music :D

I will start...

Tomorrow everything starts again...

And the wheel rounds. Tomorrow I will go to Italian lessons, and Tuesday, to Chinese and English. I will see again the faces, of people that I value and ignore, I will start to fight against the letters...

There is people who had told me that I'm crazy: It's not enough with my mother tongues, (Spanish and Galician), with English, with Italian or with my criticized study of the Milan lenguage. (I will continue to fight about it) I will started Chinese.

If 10 years ago somebody told me about the things that are happening, I would not believe it.

And there are 10 days to become older: 21 years old. But it's the same, the hole important thing is to fight.. And not to wear myself out never!

Week without internet

Hi to everybody, that 5 days I was almost everytime disconnected, only I had seen the mails (to avoid the saturation...) I felt good, and I realized my objective: To finish to read Italiani si diventa I was concentrated in my homework.

Then, in my free time, I was listening music, most of the time, Gli Atroci I Gem Boy Babaman and Morodo . Obviously Gli Atroci and I Gem Boy were useful when I wasn't well, to laugh a little, and to charge me with a lot of... energy! (boooom!) and about, Babaman and Morodo (The only Spanish group I have listened in this period) to get relax. I ask me what could think my parents when I turned on music of Gli Atroci or Gem Boy. ( It's better not to think about) (Now I'm listening with my aural of the ears,Gli Atroci not to listen the thing that my mother is listening, that sicks me, (Luis Miguel) I have to say too, that when yesterday I was waiting to enter to my English class, I was singing Canzone del cazzo and I didn't mind if people listened to me... I ask me for the effect if I would sing it first of enter to my Italian class... (I hope that teachers never will listen me singing a GB's song... What would they say???)

I had wrote a lot, (another objective) I had write a letter for Milan too (I ask me how many time needs to arrive to Italy....) I started to write a story too about a Spanish man who goes to know an Italian girl who has the half age... I feel inspirated for tue moment (Whithout comments!) And I have concentred in religion too.

I had take some coffee with some partner. That's a direct message to people who say that I'm not sociable. I'm knowing a lot of people. If today I pass the final test vs. my shyness, I will can to pass everything :D

Biography

I had make a biography in English some days ago. I had a lot of mistakes. Now I write to you the biography I did:

Anne Pink-Cat

Anne Pink-Cat was an important celtic priestess. She was born in Ireland, at the IV B.C. She lived in the base of a mountain with her people, and she was called Anne because of the Goddess Anu, Pink because her mother was a defender of love, and Cat because she seemed like one.

When she was a child, se was nominated by the ancient priestess as the new priestess, and she spent most of time with the last priestess, learning the misteries and traditions about magic and religion. She did a lot of magic works of love and fertility, generally created by herself, during her life.

She had two daughters and she adopted a boy because her mother died when he was born. This fact was an important one for her, and she decided to look after that boy as a son.

When she was 20, she organized and managed her first Samhain, the most important celtic celebration. On this day, the celtic year finished. Nowadays, that celebration is the origin of Halloween.
At the age of 25, she received a Big Gold Cauldron out of gratitude for her work and attitude.

When she was 30, she and her people arrived in Scotland. There, she met Brigit Stone-Glance, who was another celtic priestess of the zone. They had a fight, but after discovering about their commmon culture, they decided to work and travel togheter for a time. Then, five years later, the other group get his way.

She lived in Scotland for 15 years, where she fell in love with Allore Fast-Tiger, a warrior of a celtic popolation. They decided to get married two years later, and they lived togheter with her son and daughters. Then, she became a spiritual teacher for little children.
When she was old, she became a quack doctor and looked after her grandchild. She nominated her heiress to teach her about religion and magic.
She died at the age of 65 in Scotland.

What a day!

Yesterday, when there was only a few minutes to go to Italian lesson, I went to buy some instant creams (soups). Then I went out, I went to a supermarket ( and I thank to go to another further) I return to my house, I leave the bag, I take My school things and I go fast! When I'm arriving, two Watch Tower's members I said I'm not interested, I ran to the languages school, and rised the three floors on foot...

And finally, the teacher didn't have arrive!! ha ha ha ha!

What a change of hour!

What a change of hour! I had forgot of change my telephone clocks. And one of this sounds and I saw: 8.45. I got up fast and when I went to the kitchen, I saw the clock: 7.45. Surprised, I turned on my computer and I discovered that I wasn't late, but I had an hour yet!

What can I do in a boring day?

Hi everybody. Yesterday I didn't go out, if I did, probably now I will sleep. But now I'm making a asparagus cream in the microwave and thinking what can I do today, Sunday..

I hate sundays. I'm really bored. I want this Sunday will be different. Next weekend I have a lot of things to do, I think I will start extra lessons and the library will open, and I have to buy more microwave's soups and going to the bank.

But.. What can I do at Sunday? Does somebody have and idea?

Hurray for Euro!

Now I have bougth my books. That's a frightning price!

Framework 3:(wk) 15,48
Framework 3:(st) 27,09
Viaggio nell'italiano: 34,97
Total: 77,54

Note: The Italian book, in Italy costs 22,20, and I will use this book in 4º e 5º. It means, next year I mustn't need to buy another book. English book's include a dvd and a cd.

Back to the EOI...

Today I have started again the classes in the school languages. At morning, I've went to 3º year English's class. I have the same teacher as in 2º, but I don't mind. About my old partners, I only find one, that I had at 1º.

At evening, I have went to my Italian's lessons. There, there are a lot of people I knew. The teacher is of Genova. We has introduced to the partners, (In Italian, obviusly) and just today we had to do homework. A letter to tell him a little about what we like or dislike at lessons, and I have did it...

I'm happy and relaxed, I have a lot of energy and whishes of make things!