Without internet?

Status: angry
Song: Amaral- El final

What a problem.

It's possible that I wouldn't have internet for some days.

Prrrrr.....

Films season in Italian starts...

Status: Calm
Song: Modena City Ramblers: I cento passi

I think it was as appartain again to that group of Italian students. A strange sensation full me today, when I entered to the Assembly Hall, convinced to watch the first film of the Italian film season (mafia, camorra films, etc). That's the way of my ex teachers to express the repulse to this kind of activities. Yes, the fact of study in the languages school yet, has the vantage: I can assist to some activities of Italian yet without problems.

Everything started with a introduction of a teacher, that I tried not to see his face... He talked a little, I think the most important thing he said is that these films, chosen by the Italian departament, tell true stories, not like American stories of mafia, as The Godfather. Then of some minutes of distraction, I could concentrate myself in the film, One Hundred Steps, that tells the story of Peppino Impastato. Touching.

In that two hours I felt strange, as nothing had changed since last year. I don't appartain now to that classes, as I know how to deffend myself with Italian language. Somebody says (as an ex teacher of the Secondary Obligatory) that I should look for a job as a translator. Maybe it could be as easy as say it!

Without stamp my unemployment

Status: stuned and nervous
Song: Vomitiors- Nervos

My case doesn't have a name.

I was asleep and I couldn't stamp my unemployement. I know my clock sounded and I stopped it. I also had a serie of small strange dreams, I have dreamt with the nurse (I have to go to do my medical history) I dreamt with one of my ex-teachers of Italian, I dreamt with my ex-monitor of the pool (Yesterday they changed us monitor). So, a strange mixture that anyway, makes sense. The fact is that I'm angry because I couldn't stamp my unemployment (of course, is only possible do it until the 11) And tomorrow I will have to do another card... I have to send it to...

Little relief

Status: Triste, pesimista
Song: Caparezza: Un vero uomo dovrebbe lavare i piatti


Only two things: I'm not fine and everything is a holy shit.

Secret police

Status: Afraid
Song: Morodo: Los carros de Babylon

Today I had one of that dreams that doesn't make sense. A distressing dream. and really ridiculous. I was in the street, and a group comes to me (4 men and a woman). They tell me:

- Secret police. Are you Anahí Palacín Martínez?
- Yes, I am.
- So, yo have to collaborate with us in a mission.
- What mission? How many time will dure?
- 2 months and a half.
- Absolutely not. I can't be missing two months and a half to my class.- I try to scape, but they take hold of my arm.
- If you don't want to collaborate, we are going to arrest you.
- Can I call my parents?
- No.
- I have to advertise my parents.
- Absolutely not.

They dragged me, against my wishes, as a delinquent. Finally we arrived to a place and they closed me in a room.

- Tomorrow morning mission is going to starts.

And they closed the room with a key.

Fortunately, suddenly I awake.. So distressing.

Breaking with everything

Status: Angry, and something else I can't say (look the lyric of the song)
Song: Nine Inch Nails: Closer

Today, although that I have just say,-logically I wont give much details.- I want to cut off the contact with many people, that sometimes made me cry, with intention or do it or not, I don't know.

So, I have clear all my contacts in msn, yahoo and skype. I cancelled all of them, now I'm taking the people who talk to me (When their messages arrive) Why I'm doing that? I want to forget to some people who hurt me, and also to eliminate the people who I don't usually talk to. Yes, it is a really readical way, but it is the best. If I don't cancel some of that contacts, things can be worst. No, I'm not in something strange, I promise it.

New year, new life.

2008's evaluation

Status: Thoughtful
Song: Loreena McKenitt:Arabia

Another year has gone. It has been a scandalous year for me, full of experiences, positive and negative ones, but unforgettable.

This year the economical crisis has been really commented, in stead of that, my emotional crisis comes since the beginning of the year until now. During this 2008, I did not resolve any of my emotional conflicts, in stead of that, I have avoid them, I hope only for a period. I am not going to give names, who know me a little, can guess that names.

In the positive balance, I can say I could work. During three months I have been really in hurries, because of work and lessons. I have learnt that if I do more things, I have more time. It is strange, but that's it. I left the job, because is more important the health that the money, if a work creates you ansiety, is better to leave it. It was a miracle to me, that having less time, I have passed all, English, Italian and Chinese. The most direct consecuence is that I have finished Italian.

I have known new people. Salomé, Roy, Roberto, Álex... That was one of the things I always thank it was most complicated.

And the most important thing, I could travel most. Almost of them were short trips, but it is an advance: Twice to Madrid, once to Toledo, once to Finisterre, with some stops... (it is not much far, but it is something...) E obviously, my missed return to Milan, that meant look some new places appart of that city than I love.

This year, I have new objectives. Maybe too high expectatives. But I have to mark myself objectives:


- Meditate more, learn to control my shyness. Maybe I would have to do a course of oratory...
- Find a job.
- Leave my house. (And with a little more time, with a little help, I maybe could go for a longest period to Milan)
- Do courses (I'm specially interested on the air hostess one)
- Travel most.
- Participate in some literary competitions.
- Find a decent boy (mision impossible)
- To buy a portatile.